her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
