I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
