You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
