Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize