i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
