I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
