Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
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She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
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just found out that she named her cat after me.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.