We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
