Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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