im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
