The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
