i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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