Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
