I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
