So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
