At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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