The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
