She said her name was "party"
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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