whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
