My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
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