omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Randomize
