I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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