who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Randomize