Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Randomize
