at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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