atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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