wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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