ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
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Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
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I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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