WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
be right there i have to get my cape
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
