I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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