Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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