ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
