Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Randomize
