Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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