we're blogging at a bar
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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