everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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