It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
