We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
