***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
