Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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