Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
