maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
