drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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