Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
