just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
