Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
