Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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