I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize
