In the future we'll all be gay
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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