There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
My life is pants optional.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
tell me about the eggs
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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