Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize