Christians are straight up FREAKS
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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