honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
