dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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