They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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