If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
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