sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
This can only be settled by a dance off.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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