I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
