I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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