Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
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She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
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Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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