i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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