just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
